Some more cute photos

So, now that we are starting to potty train (again), part of it is a reward system and this little truck has a bunch of smaller trains, trucks, etc. that fit inside. Each time Juliana does really well with her potty training, she gets another vehicle to put inside her box. We'll see how this goes for now! Brushing her hair, kind of...

Randomly tired? No, she's just being silly!

My mom got her a Hello Kitty flashlight because she's been talking about flashlight for some reason for days now. It's cute and not too bright, so I don't have to worry too much that she likes to put it in her face!

My mom

My mother truly is my hero. She is strong, authentic, compassionate, loving, supportive, and inspirational. She's also smart in ways I don't think she even knows and I aspire to be the kind of mom for Juliana that she was for me. She has never stopped supporting my every move and decision, no matter how difficult or challenging or wrong it may be. I can't even count the number of times she's been there for me when I fell or stumbled in my walk of life. I have really enjoyed these last several weeks with her and I hate to see her go, but hopefully God will bring us together again soon. There is nothing like the power of family's love and Juliana has adored her Nana from day one. Their relationship is remarkable and yesterday, she kept saying, "I love you Nana" over and over again, sensing something was up with the suitcases out.I love you mom, wholeheartedly. I am truly blessed with such a wonderful, close and loving family and I can't wait to see them all again soon.

Day 2 at Sentosa

We woke up to another beautiful day this morning and headed down for our buffet breakfast. Then it was some more time by the pool before checking out of the resort. Juliana picked these flowers for our hair...
My gorgeous girl! She was very well behaved all weekend and enjoyed Sentosa with Nana this time.

Cutie :-)

On the top floor of the hotel are some beautiful views of the water and beach...

Here's a pictures of the pool, which is hard to take a good picture of since it's so long...

Juliana and her Nana with the waterfall behind them.

Last time my mom had visited, we never got around to doing the Merlion walk with her, so we brought her this time. It was so hot though, I wanted to walk through all of the fountains and pools!
This is such a precious picture...

We asked her to pose and I wasn't the only one taking pictures. She had a small audience with some other cameras going off. I know I'm biased, but she is rather adorable!

My mom finally got to see the large Merlion up close...

We walked through Resort World to the Hard Rock Cafe for lunch.

It was a wonderful family weekend, but I wish we could go back and stay longer. It feels so tropical and relaxed. My mom's visit has been a blast and I am dreading her leaving in a few days. Thankfully, we've had a lot of good weather and made some amazing memories.

Mini vaca at Sentosa

This weekend was a lovely break!! We stayed at...Checking into our room. Juliana went nuts as usual!!

Making some calls...
Trying on the slippers... Then it was off to the beach and it was a gorgeous day! She had fun in the water and playing in the sand with her toys.

Digging with her Nana...

After the beach, we headed for lunch since Juliana apparently worked up a nice big appetite. Okay, had to share these...

The resort's pool was nice and there was a kiddy section, a waterfall and a slide for children. We spent most of the afternoon at the pool and got all "wrinkly" as Juliana always says!

No nap and she was so good!

After all the swimming and playing, we had a wonderful dinner at a place called, Wave House. It was a delicious meal.

I admit that I tired out even earlier than Juliana and then she slept like a log the entire night. Exhausted from all that fun and sun!

It's been SO hot!

It's certainly been very hot here lately, which means we have been spending a lot of time in the pool. Check out Juliana's new bathing suit...She brought her princesses in the pool this time and had fun swimming with them...

Practicing blowing bubbles, which she's really already mastered!

This was "her slide," but I guess it was okay for Nana to stand next to it and watch her come down...

Lounging pool side...

I was trying to teach her to swim, but eventually I just had her climb on my back while I kicked around and swam. She couldn't get enough of it!

My mom got her the boat for the pool and this weekend to use at Sentosa in the ocean. Should be fun!

With each day that passes, I get even more sad knowing that my mom is going to be leaving. I'm not looking forward to it, because it's been wonderful to have her around these past several weeks, for all of us. Juliana and I have been happier too. Sigh, I guess all good things must come to an end.

Next up is Sentosa this weekend, so I'll have lots to share afterwards!

REAL beauty

There's an amazing book called, "This Is Who I Am," in which photographer Rosanne Olson portrays the many different forms of beauty, from young to old as well as those with scars and deeper stories about their unhealthy bodies. The woman that volunteered to be part of this project are courageous, beautiful and heroic. They bring the world "beauty" a whole new meaning and show that beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. As women, we all have concerns about our body, but we can learn to love our flaws, embrace our uniqueness and be proud of our beauty, both inside and out. I strongly suggest that ALL women read this book, but I wanted to share a poem written by the remarkable Maya Angelou that is included at the end of the book...

PHENOMINAL WOMAN

Pretty woman wonder where my secret lies.

I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size

But when I start to tell them,

They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms,
The span of my hips,

The stride of my step,

The curl of my lips.

I'm a woman.

Phenominally.

Phenominal woman,

That's me.

I walk into a room,

Just as cool as you please,

And to a man,

The fellows stands or

Fall down on their knees.

Then they swarm around me,

A hive of honey bees.

I say,

It's the fire in my eyes,

And the flash in my teeth,

The swing in my waist,

And the joy in my feet.

I'm a woman.
Phenominally.
Phenominal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered

What they see in me.

They try so much,

But they can't touch

My inner mystery,

When I try to show them,

They say they still can't see.

I say,

It's the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman.

Phenominally.
Phenominal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand

Just why my head's not bowed.

I don't shout or jump about

Or have to talk real loud.

When you see me passing

It ought to make you proud.

I say,

It's in the click of my heels,

The bend of my hair,

The palm of my hand,

The need of my care,

'Cause I'm a woman

Phenominally.
PHENOMINAL WOMAN,

THAT'S ME.

This is what we should be believing about ourselves as woman as well as teaching our daughters. One of the greatest campaigns has been the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty, because it supports that woman do not need to be stick thin, blond, white, with large breasts and perfect skin, amongst other things. Woman are different shapes and sizes, with unique personalities and talents. Those are the things we should be celebrating, both men and woman. All of the woman in this picture are simply gorgeous...
What Stacy says about her body (below) and her beauty is what I am striving for, for both myself and my daughter. Take a close look at this woman...she is natural, wholesome and beautiful Yet, some people's standards would mark her differently and it's sad. Our world is far too focused on the outer appearance of a person that we often never give ourselves the opportunity to get to know them. If there is one major thing I have learned from living in Singapore is that people are never what they appear to be. I am often pleasantly surprised and truly blessed to have had this chance to see beyond the outer and into the internal parts of human beings.

I may be her mom, but Juliana is special and beautiful. I will always encourage her to reach for the stars, never to give up on her dreams and to truly believe that appearances are meaningless compares to a strong core of morality, confidence and courage.

Side note: Yes, I know my blog has taken a turn into thoughts about self-image and all that goes along with it, but it's something close to my heart and something I am dealing with a lot lately. I believe it's important not only to be honest, but also to put it out there in the hopes that one person, one reader is affected. Love to you all.

Destiny

Destiny?

Time stalls…
I reminisce about all those moments,
The ones I want to relive,
To change.
But, would it really make a difference?
No, it wouldn’t.

People have their opinions,
Their beliefs about life,
And there is no possible way
Of changing any of it.
I must choose ME,
To be who I have been created to be,
By my creator.
Because He had a purpose.

Could you ever believe
That God had a purpose for your life?
And that no matter what you did,
That purpose would never change,
And you were destined for a specific destiny.

I believe.
I know that God has a plan for me,
And I believe that it’s still unfolding.
In time, the events will be clear
And I will see through new eyes.

Until then, I will patiently wait.

A yoga buddy?

What do you think? In my quest to improve my health, I've been using my yoga mat a lot more. Someone else seems interested... I think she'd make a good workout buddy!!

A Carnival at the Polo Club

Today's adventure was a carnival at the Singapore Polo Club that Jacob found out about in the paper. It wasn't huge, but we stayed for a couple hours and Juliana had fun. Started off with some "cotton floss" otherwise known as cotton candy to us Americans...
Then we got to see lots and lots of horses. I adore them, so it was nice to see Juliana enjoy feeding, patting and looking at them...

I was surprised she wasn't at all skittish around them and some of them were absolutely gorgeous! I promised her some riding lessons when she gets older (with me too!)... This was balloon number two! She was running around and dancing with it on the grass... Oh and a bouncy castle of course! At first, she kept saying no to going in, but then she saw how much fun the other kids were having and she got in...

Not so bad after all! Another great day and we got to see something new with my mom too!

I'm sick of the lie...

As most of you already know, I have been struggling with an eating disorder for the past 10+ years of my life and I'm sick and tired of not just putting it out there. It's part of who I am and will always be part of who I become. Recovery provides an opportunity for a lot of growth, self-reflection and soul searching. It helps clarify what is important in life and who is worth my time, attention and love. A lot of people (sadly) have their beliefs and stereotypes about eating disorders and for the most part, they're completely judgemental and wrong. Each person's experiences are unique to their lives and personalities. There is no label for anyone struggling with an eating disorder and no one person fits into any specific criteria. It is my hope that in time, I will be able to change those stigmas and open people's eyes to the reality of eating disorders, the severity of them and how each and every person can play a role in someone's recovery, growth and renewal.
One thing I want my daughter to always know is that she is perfect just the way she. It takes a lot of work, growth and strength on my part to keep forging on in order to provide her with a strong example of a woman with a positive body-image and strong self-esteem. That means a lot of hard choices on my part, such as what she's exposed to, the toys she plays with and the words and conversations she hears. It has taken me years to get to this point and I have so much further to go. I know that I cannot protect her from everything, but I can certainly to my best to prepare her for the world that she is going to grow up in.

Fortunately, I know that I have a lot of friends and family that have always supported and loved me unconditionally. Now, it's time to lean on myself and be a strong woman, wife and mother. Juliana is prone to all the same body image problems that every young girl is nowadays as she grows up, so I can only hope and pray that what I can do will help and that everyone else in her life will be a positive role model for being proud of who you are, no matter what you look like.

So, this is the real me, that many of you have already known. However, the truth of the matter is that no many how many words I speak, no one will ever understand my battle and I accept that. All I ask is for support, no questions asked. For those of you that cannot or have chosen not to accept me, as I am, it's your loss, not mine.

God bless everyone. May you all take a look at your inner selves today and reflect upon your own self-esteem and how it affects those around you, especially your children.