This morning was Juliana's swim lesson and as I was sitting there watching, I kept thinking about how much has changed in the last several months. Aside from the physical move and culture shock, I feel like I have changed a lot as a mom. She has always amazed me and made both Jacob and I glow with pride, but I also realize just how much she has been teaching me about myself.
Just as I sat down to write this post, I checked my e-mail and the most recent Expat Women Newsletter had an article about Lindy Bruce’s book, Motherhood and Me. The first paragraph states:
Motherhood takes us on a journey. We think the journey is about learning how to love, nurture and support our children, but the further along the road we travel, the more we realize that the journey is actually about learning how to love, nurture and support ourselves! This is the incredible gift of motherhood, the opportunity it gives us to grow, evolve and expand; the opportunity it gives us to see and know ourselves better.
Just as I sat down to write this post, I checked my e-mail and the most recent Expat Women Newsletter had an article about Lindy Bruce’s book, Motherhood and Me. The first paragraph states:
Motherhood takes us on a journey. We think the journey is about learning how to love, nurture and support our children, but the further along the road we travel, the more we realize that the journey is actually about learning how to love, nurture and support ourselves! This is the incredible gift of motherhood, the opportunity it gives us to grow, evolve and expand; the opportunity it gives us to see and know ourselves better.
Lindy then continues on in the next paragraph to address the fact that motherhood can also make you question who you are. For me, one of the most powerful feelings I had during pregnancy was fear of the unknown. I felt like I barely knew myself and now I was being thrown into the most important role I would ever had. How was I supposed to know how to be a mom when I barely knew how to be myself? Then my precious girl came along and for the first several months, between sleep deprivation and an unpredictable feeding schedule, I forgot all about my fears and anxiety and simply entered into survival mode.
Prior to moving out to Singapore, I faced some difficult challenges in my personal life that made me take a deeper look at myself as a person. It wasn’t until we started to settle in to our new life here that I was able to take the time to truly reflect on the person I wanted to be. I took a close look at the past and am working through trying to forgive those that have hurt me, because motherhood has taught me the importance of acceptance and forgiveness. Juliana has also taught me that I should be proud of who I am and confident in the decisions that I make, because this is the kind of role model that she needs. For girls growing up in today’s world, self-esteem can be one of the most difficult things to develop and mine has always been shaky.
Motherhood, or parenthood in general challenges us and makes us face the darkest part of ourselves that we have hidden away. Our children give us the opportunity to evolve and make changes in our lives for the better. We find ourselves wanting to be stronger, better role models and providing examples of living an honest and meaningful life in order to help our children grow into self-assured and independent individuals.
I think it’s a common misconception that becoming a parent means that you have to live a selfless life, constantly putting your children’s needs before your own. While this is true in some cases, the truth of the matter is that it becomes impossible to take care of our children if we are not taking care of ourselves first. The times when I am the best mother are the times when I am modeling self-care for Juliana and in turn, taking the best care of her too. It reminds me of how flight attendants instruct you to put the oxygen mask over your own mouth first and then your child’s. The fact is, what good are you for your children if you don’t take care of yourself first?
Prior to moving out to Singapore, I faced some difficult challenges in my personal life that made me take a deeper look at myself as a person. It wasn’t until we started to settle in to our new life here that I was able to take the time to truly reflect on the person I wanted to be. I took a close look at the past and am working through trying to forgive those that have hurt me, because motherhood has taught me the importance of acceptance and forgiveness. Juliana has also taught me that I should be proud of who I am and confident in the decisions that I make, because this is the kind of role model that she needs. For girls growing up in today’s world, self-esteem can be one of the most difficult things to develop and mine has always been shaky.
Motherhood, or parenthood in general challenges us and makes us face the darkest part of ourselves that we have hidden away. Our children give us the opportunity to evolve and make changes in our lives for the better. We find ourselves wanting to be stronger, better role models and providing examples of living an honest and meaningful life in order to help our children grow into self-assured and independent individuals.
I think it’s a common misconception that becoming a parent means that you have to live a selfless life, constantly putting your children’s needs before your own. While this is true in some cases, the truth of the matter is that it becomes impossible to take care of our children if we are not taking care of ourselves first. The times when I am the best mother are the times when I am modeling self-care for Juliana and in turn, taking the best care of her too. It reminds me of how flight attendants instruct you to put the oxygen mask over your own mouth first and then your child’s. The fact is, what good are you for your children if you don’t take care of yourself first?
Just to share, here's a picture of Juliana blowing bubbles in the water for the first time! Usually, she ends up sucking in water, but she got it right this morning!
1 comment:
Great post and so true.
Post a Comment